I just remembered that i wrote the unicorn fic because i though that was funny and i wish i could take that back.
sometimes you get so close to a person you forget you’re telling them things you’ve never even said out loud before
everyone’s grandparents seem to have really cute stories of how they met, and like my grandparents met when my grandma was running away from police during a protest and she jumped on the back of my grandads motorcycle and just screamed “DRIVE FUCKING DRIVE”
I dunno man I think that story’s pretty fuckin cute.
LMFAO CRYING(via sun-flowereyes)
Gentle reminder that people working in customer service are paid to be nice to you and you should not fucking flirt with them because you’re probably making them extremely uncomfortable you piece of shit don’t force us into engaging your gross ass
look at the stars, look how they shine for you